So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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