he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
