I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
