Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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