Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
MIDGETS
????
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
