You're my little dorito
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
