Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
