My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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