You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
