i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
