Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
