he puts the penis in happiness.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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