If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
