Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
