We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
