i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
