spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize