I puked a lego.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
