I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
