At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
