I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
