She is in my trunk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
