Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
