I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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