if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
