forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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