I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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