Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
