DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
