Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
