Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize