She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
