you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
