the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
