Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
