im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
