at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
