Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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