Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
