was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
