Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Green mimosas i think yes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
