but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
even my farts smell like vagina
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
