saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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