I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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