using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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