Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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