we have officially lost it.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She bit a glass in half.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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