Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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