doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize