he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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