You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
