Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
