I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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