please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I love you.
Bad choice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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