Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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