Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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