also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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