Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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