You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
