haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
