Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Found the puke drawer
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
