Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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