His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
