i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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