I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
