Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize